The Fog

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Yvonne

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Fresh grief makes everything foggy or darkened. You have your life before you, and you know what is happening, but everything just seems foggier or darker.

Honestly, sometimes even “fresh” is a very relative word. In my case, I mean “recent.” On November 12, 2025, my mother committed suicide.

Gosh, where do you even go from there? Well, that has created the fog/the darkening. I can’t even seem to respond to things without feeling like a sloth.

Why am I writing about this fog or darkening? Well, because frankly, our society is trash about allowing individuals to feel and trudge through it. Space is not made for people to feel and trudge. Three days of bereavement leave? Really? No one can grieve enough in three days to come back a healthy individual, able to work effectively. 

I am so thankful for our community giving me days to grieve. I will most likely share more, but two days of hard grief, anxiety, weeping, and anger without the responsibility of running my house and caring for my children was a huge blessing. I would not have been able to face the future week in store for me if I hadn’t had that time.

So, how can you make it through this fog/darkening? First, Jesus. Jesus is the light in the darkening. He is God with us. He is hope for the hopeless. Spend time reading about Jesus in your Bible. The book of John is a great place to start.

Second, do not do it alone!!! Ask for help and take help.

Third, make time for you. Sleep. Eat. Breath. Take a walk. Cry. Yell.

Fourth, depression meds can be a helpful solution, counseling or grief support groups.

Then, lastly, if you made it through my post, please share ideas, resources, and / or possible solutions for the problem we have in this society of depriving those (everyone) who need time to grieve well.

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Yvonne

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2 responses to “The Fog”

  1. Tammy Fowler Avatar
    Tammy Fowler

    It is crazy to only get 3 days off from work to grieve, that is not enough time to plan things and do everything else you always do. Then to add grieving time in to that busy schedule, it’s just not enough. But you are right ask for help, and receive help that is offered Is a great help. Everyone’s grieving is different, but remember you are never alone during that. God and the love and prayers from everyone around you, will be those sacred moments of grace. When you feel like you are being hugged or held by the Father. I’m here for you anytime you need me. Love you all!!

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  2. Heather Kirkland Avatar
    Heather Kirkland

    Thank you for your raw vulnerability. The fog in grief is so real with each loss we encounter. Each loss is different and the “fog” is different too. I remember each of mine very well. By my mid 40s, I had lost all my extended family except my brother. I’m grateful to hear that your friends (family) were able to carry the load for you and allow you to feel all the feelings. Praise Jesus! When my father died, we (as a family) took a whole month “off from things” and allowed us time to grieve. It was a huge loss for my kids too and they needed that time also. I was so glad we did this intentionally and didn’t just “jump back into business” and not allow our family time to process and walk through the feelings. I was surprised at how ppl around us didn’t understand what we were doing though…. because it wasn’t the norm of our American culture. Most ppl told us to just keep busy and move on. Continue to take the moments and feel the emotions, sit in them and lift them up to Jesus. He will carry them and surround you with His strength and love. You are on the right path dear friend.

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